In Soviet Russia Flame Snaps You!
by Rockcrab
Summary: SPOILER ALERT FOR ENTIRE FMA SERIES! Alright, you've been warned. Roy Mustang was not seen beyond the gate, and either was Frank Archer. This is because, rather than Germans... they were Russians during WW2 under Stalin. Possible character death, maybe...


**Disclaimer- I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist and I do not support Stalin's views on how to control people, as effective as they may be.**

**Author's Note- Yes, Stalin and this Russian stuff DID happen, but in the past (and without Roy Mustang and Frank Archer). Don't think badly of Russia because of it. You can't blame Russia for what Stalin did anymore than you can blame Germany for what Hitler did. Get past the history and the fic will take off, so be patient. Wait until we get past the history… it'll get better, promise. You have to know the background to get the story!!!**

* * *

_**SPOILER ALERT- FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST FROM EPISODE 25ish ON AND THE MOVIE (AND POSSIBLY WORLD/RUSSIAN HISTORY CLASS).**_

* * *

Stalin was born a peasant in the Russian province Georgia, his father an extreme alcoholic and his mother at his father's mercy. Stalin's mother was quite religious and got Stalin a spot in a school from the church. He was to be a priest, but he didn't want to be a priest. He wanted something more than that. He was kicked out of the school for trying to convert people to Marxism- known better as Communism.

They lived in poverty, as did many Russians at the time and he joined the revolution as a fighter. He was good at attacking, and good at commanding officers.

He wanted nothing more; he was a man of revolution and war. He can easily be compared to the Colonel, Frank Archer. He was cruel, ruthless, and cold-hearted. He was perfect for the revolution in Lenin's eyes and he was quickly made part of it.

Lenin was exiled from Russia by Tsar Nicholas II during World War One and the revolution was put at a standstill. Revolutionaries were scarce to be found by the government.

As you should know, Russia was fighting Germany in World War One and they were having a War of Attrition (the wearing down of an enemy by continually attacking them). Nicholas II sent millions of Russian soldiers to fight the war and this angered the people- it was a mass suicide almost. These soldiers were sent to fight with sticks against the Germans who had cannons and machine guns. Put a man with a stick against a man with a machine gun and who do you think is more apt to live?

The Germans wanted this war to end- the Russians seemed to have an endless supply of troops and they were being worn out. They had to focus on _France_, damn it!

The Germans sent Lenin back to Russia to get the revolution back on track and Russia out of the war.

Word had been spreading that Lenin had returned and that revolution was impossible to avoid, but there were those that believed now was not the time for a socialist revolution. Stalin agreed with the people against Lenin, and was the editor of a newspaper called 'Pravda' at the time.

He had to decide whether to openly oppose Lenin or stay with him. He stayed with Lenin, loyalty staying in check and wrote that Alexander Kerensky and Victor Chernov were counter-revolutionaries, and urged the peasants to take over the land.

Kerensky and Chernov were condemned and executed without trial for being against the revolution along with more than a hundred others.

Joseph Stalin was rewarded for this and his wonderful performance in the October Revolution by being made the Commissioner of Nationalities. This gave him a lot of power with Nationalities that were non-Russian in Russia- the majority of people.

Lenin eventually saw that the economy needed to be fixed if there was ever to be a permanent revolution for the people. He changed the total communist control over the economy to a split economy of Capitalism and Communism. The change would take place slowly. This was the New Economic Policy.

The New Economic Policy gave Lenin many troubles. He decided he needed help and appointed Stalin as the Secretary. Everyone encouraged this appointment not realizing how much power it really gave Stalin. Secretary is like the shadow king… He keeps the country in order with the King as a figure to take the credit until one day… guess who's in charge!

That's right. After some time Lenin died and Stalin succeeded him against Lenin's wishes in his Will because he was backed by his friends in high places- Gregory Zinoviev and Lev Kamenev.

He later had many people killed for being 'not for the revolution' and such including his own friends that backed him earlier.

It was at this point he started taking over. He had people scared stiff of him. One word, one _thought _out of line and he'd know- and they'd die. Quiet death… almost unnoticeable death…

The people started dying off every day. One day you'd say 'hi' to Robbie and the next- there never was a Robbie. The secret police was the group that did this. They were under Stalin's direct orders. They were paranoid.

The police watched people, the police watched each other, and the people watched the people and no one knew who was person and who police were. Children would turn in parents, parents their children, friends each other… no one could be trusted. Everyone who was against Stalin was killed, no matter what gender, no matter what position, and if you were 12 and older.

You could have Bob being watched by Clevent who was being watched by Akinorev… and Akinorev being watched by Bob! It never ended and every night you went to sleep unsure that you'd wake up the next day in the same place you were or even if you'd be alive. They all lived in terror of this, of each other.

Marx was God, Lenin was Jesus, and Stalin was St. Paul to these people. Stalin could say 'jump' and people won't dare ask 'how high' for fear they would be killed for speaking out of turn- they'd just jump as high as they could in hope that they would live.

Let me tell this story and then the history lesson can end:

Stalin went to one of the factories that was supposedly doing well just as he wanted (most factories pretended to produce enough, simply so they wouldn't get punished) and gave a speech to the workers. At the end everyone clapped… and clapped, and clapped. They were afraid to stop.

Stalin was an egotistical person and he loved the attention, given willingly or not. No one wanted to stop first in the front for fear Stalin would notice and no one in the back for fear someone would tell.

After 15 minutes the Overseer of the factory nodded slightly and stopped, the workers stopped clapping after him.

That overseer was **never seen again** after that day.

* * *

Stalin had gotten to thinking about his friends- he needed more, better friends than what he had. Here starts the fan fiction.

Stalin needed a right hand man- someone he could trust to do _anything_ for him at any time that he could simply kill off for treason later if he needed to. He chose a man that had fought in the revolution with him… Outstanding in the fighting and like him in character, for this position he chose Frank Archer.

In addition to this… he needed someone loyal to him that he could actually trust. A best friend, so to speak… this one would have had to come to him. Someone willing enough to come to him… and that had been Roy Mustang. This kind of friend was killed a little while back- so he'd hired someone, it was necessary.

For both of their names, Stalin was hesitant, it sure didn't sound Russian… but he realized they were names they had changed to as revolutionaries, he understood having changed his own name previously.

Roy Mustang had joined the revolution close to the start. His first battle was under the command of Joseph Stalin, while together, they had talked a bit, and one time they had had a few drinks together… they were learning bits and pieces of each other's pasts through this now monthly event. It had ceased to occur after Stalin was promoted to Commissioner of Nationalities. He became a very busy man, that Stalin.

Through those afternoons spent together, they learned about each other. They were, indeed, very similar in their pasts. They both had been peasants who happened to be able to fight, both had been rather bright and got into school one way or another… and both had abusive, alcoholic fathers. Although, Roy's father was, by far, the worse of the two… and they understood each other.

Stalin had made a friend and now he remembered him, and his name. Now he was in control and he had forgotten about someone who helped him get here. One of his only attachments to sanity (only matched his wife) was his first, and only, actual friend.

Already having Archer under his command… he now wanted his friend back. Roy Mustang…

'_It would be a pity if he was a traitor and was already dead… but if he survived this long he is worthy and shall become a member of the Communist Party,'_ thought Stalin decidedly that evening. He'd give Archer the command the next morning, and hopefully be speaking to Mustang in less than 72 hours.

Stalin needed a friend he wouldn't worry about killing- at least… not until it was necessary. Completely necessary… not like his 'friends' but more like… well, Roy would be the only one. He'd allow Mustang a slight variation- he wouldn't die on his first minor mistake.

He liked the sound of it...

_...my greatest friend. _

* * *

**Author's Note- Yes! Archer is his right hand man and Roy is his best friend with a similar childhood! It happens! And I don't care if they said where Archer ot Roy were in the series across the gate (don't think they ever did, but I may have missed it), but they're Russians now! Huzzah! Yes, that was very exclaimation pointy, ne?**

**Read and Review or we can all assume Roy was killed by the secret police a month before, we wouldn't want that, now would we?**

**Save the Colonel- review my story.**

**"Read, Smile, Review!" is my variation of Lenin's "Peace, Land, and Bread!"**

**That line won him the revolution, why shouldn't it win me reviews, ne?**


End file.
